Recovering From an Embarrassing Mistake

A client of mine came by a cubicle I was sharing with a junior consultant. The client said, “I’ll be gone for a couple of hours; I have a doctor’s appointment.”

My cube-mate responded, “Oh…what’s wrong?” I knew we were about to experience a “teachable moment”. The client simply said, “Girl stuff…”, smiled, and moved on. As my colleague’s cheeks reddened, I realized he had learned the lesson already. However, I did coach him on more appropriate things to say.

Obviously, he did not mean to embarrass the client; he was simply concerned. They say nobody’s perfect, and everybody makes mistakes. But when you’ve asked an embarrassing question, or accidentally cc’d the entire company in an email about your personal problems, or gotten caught saying something impolite, nothing “they say” is going to keep you from feeling like Michael Scott from The Office for the rest of the month.

They’re never fun, but embarrassing workplace screw-ups can at least teach us what not to do, and sometimes they can even help to build rapport with colleagues or clients. Here are some tips for landing on your feet after a blunder:

1. Don’t panic. Whether you accidentally offended a top client or just got caught with your fly down, 21st century workplace faux pas are enough to trigger a cave man like fight-or-flight response. You might find your brain is screaming, “Fix it! Do something! Anything!” But knee-jerk actions can only get you in deeper, so before you start blurting apologies and sending emails, take a deep breath and ask:

• Was the mistake really that bad?
• Did anyone even notice?
• Is it worth calling attention to, or should I just ignore it?
• Have I harmed anyone else, or only embarrassed myself?

2. Laugh it off…maybe. Barbara Pratcher, author of New Rules at Work, told Forbes: “If you show embarrassment, you can go under and drown in ridicule. But if you can joke along with your detractors, you prove yourself one of the guys.”

Sound advice; there’s often nothing like busting your own chops humorously to clear the awkwardness from the air. But when you’ve inconvenienced or offended someone else, a simple, sober apology shows you take their feelings and their time seriously. Consider letting someone else make the first joke.

3. Take the opportunity to build relationships. Perhaps you wrote an email about how difficult your client is being…and then proceed to accidentally cc: the client himself. A mistake like this can be sudden death for a working relationship, but with an apology and a little humility it could also provide a chance to work through those grievances you’ve less than tactfully revealed. At least the offendee will know you care.

I’ve been on the receiving end of an email about me that I wasn’t supposed to receive, and it didn’t feel good. But a simple, heartfelt apology from the sender along with an explanation easily mended fences and maintained our working relationship.

4. Cut your losses. You mixed up the times and ended up late to the meeting; your joke got a few chuckles but the CFO isn’t smiling. It can be tempting to keep trying, but it might be time to swallow the shame and move on. Know when to stop apologizing, joking or trying to set the mistake right – You’ll just look more foolish and, worse, help people remember the snafu.

5. Learn, then forget it. Like a grain of sand in an oyster, with enough time the mind can turn one little mistake into a shiny pearl of humiliation. You can’t stop thinking about it, and you’re certain everyone else is still whispering behind your back. But reliving the scenario won’t make it better, it will just stress you out and drag down the rest of your tasks and relationships. As Pratcher advises, “Simply admit your mistake and stress that it won’t happen again. And then make sure it doesn’t.”

As Alexander Pope famously stated, “To err is human; to forgive, divine.” As long as you are honestly contrite and don’t repeat your mistakes, you will be forgiven.